How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

I made a fool out of myself in front of seasoned Instagram fashion influencers.

When I first started this blog, I knew I wanted to get some unique content and pictures to share with you all. Even though Jake had just had shoulder surgery and only had one working arm, he instantly said yes when I asked him if he would come to take some pictures for me.

Not only did he say yes, but he also planned a whole day out of it in Indianapolis. Seriously girls, get you a Jake.

We got to downtown Indy and decided to start shooting some pictures at Monument Circle. I quickly realized this was not going to be easy for me. When we went to actually go take the pictures, I awkwardly stood in front of the camera, looked at Jake and said, “Uhhh.. so what do I do?”

I didn’t want my pictures to be super posey, so I decided that we could probably get some kind of content if I just acted like a fool with a smile on my face. I was spinning around, kicking, and pretty much everything else you can think about.

Between me spazzing around and poor Jake trying to take pictures with one arm (I truly can’t believe we didn’t end up on some comedy Instagram account), it was a complete scene.

Honestly though, we were having a blast. We both started to loosen up and thought of more poses and actions for me to do. We were somehow getting some good shots in there too. After we got enough pictures at that spot, we decided to walk around to the other side of the circle and look at other places downtown.

When I got to the other side of the circle, my heart dropped.

There it was. Two blonde girls dressed head to toe in beautiful outfits. Makeup done perfectly. Somehow not even a single flyaway even though it was a windy day. Sitting properly on the steps showing off their trendy outfits.

I literally stopped dead in my tracks.

What in the world was I doing? What made me think I could even call my website a blog when I was literally jumping around and acting like a fool to get some pictures in some sneakers, jeans, and a sweater. I wanted to walk back to the car, drive straight home, and delete my website instantly.

Jake: “Oh look, those girls are doing the same stuff as us.”

Me: “Yeah, but they actually know what they’re doing.”

Jake stopped me right there.

I think he knew I was starting to second guess myself.

Jake: “But you are actually showing who you are.”

I want to add that there is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing in fancy clothes, taking beautiful pictures, and being an influencer. Trust me, my Instagram feed is filled with them.

But that’s not who I am.

And I think there are a lot of girls like me who will never be like that.

How many times have you felt like you just will never be as good as the girls you see on Instagram?

In those ten minutes that I didn’t have anything to compare my makeshift photo session to, I was having a blast. I felt like I was creating what I wanted to share on my blog. I was showing who I really am.

So how do we stop this stupid comparison that seems to always creep up on us?

I've found a few things that have really helped me.

1. Stop constantly tearing yourself apart.

Have you ever looked through some pictures that were just taken, and favorited a few that you liked ONLY to go back and realize you can pick out a flaw in every single one? Guuiillttyy over here.

Or what about a new shirt you just bought that that doesn't hide that little bit of your stomach that you hate?

I used to not post a ton on my social media because I would literally wait to get a picture that passed my hard judgment. I'm talking perfect angle, lighting, and obviously, a cute outfit.

I look back through my camera roll now and wonder why I didn't share some of the awesome experiences I had, then I remember it was because I would literally tear my body apart when looking at the pictures.

I honestly laugh now because 1. there was literally nothing wrong with the way I looked in those pictures and 2. people were seeing me in person?

I was terrified to show how I really looked on a daily basis on my social media, when in reality, I am a very social person who is around people a lot. I was never very self-conscious around people, so it's so interesting to me that my mindset totally changed when it came to social media.

One of the first ways to stop comparing yourself to others is to learn to be kind to yourself.

2. Don't even think about downloading those apps that let you reshape your body.

Whoever created these apps literally deserves bad things. Seriously people, just don't even download them. Don't even put that idea in your mind or tempt yourself.

3. Realize you are YOU for a reason.

Take some time to think about what truly sets you apart from other people. There are a million different things that make us different from one another. How BORING would it be if we were all alike?

There is so much more to you than how you look. You all have special talents, unique personalities, and people who probably couldn't imagine their lives without you in it.

For all you know, there might be someone out there that compares their life to yours. And the person you're comparing your life to compares their life to someone else's. It's one of the most vicious cycles I know, and you have to learn to find ways to stop it yourself.

4. Don't idolize models or celebrities.

Money can buy you a lot of things. It can literally buy you someone to professionally edit every single picture, fancy clothes, and even a new body or face.

5. Find your own peace.

At some point, you just have to accept your struggle with comparison and learn how to find peace with yourself. You need to appreciate yourself and determine your own worth not based on other people.

In no way am I saying you can't strive to be more healthy, make more money, or be more confident in how you look, but you don't need to compare yourself to anyone else to do that.

For me, I started to find some peace by just starting to post pictures more frequently on social media. I wouldn't allow myself to pick out every single flaw. I learned to accept who I am and have so much more peace than I used to.

I hope that me putting myself out there might help at least one girl feel like she can stop putting on a show for her social media, or she can learn to stop hiding her true self from the world.

Because if people expect flawless photos from me or don’t enjoy my content when I am actually being my true self, my page just might not be for them. And that is perfectly fine. You should feel the same way.

So stop staring at that picture of yourself. Stop wishing your arm didn’t look like that from that angle. Stop wishing your life looked as "picture perfect" as someone else's life looks. Go out, spin around, and laugh at yourself no matter what the girl on the other side is doing, and don't even think about comparing yourself to her.